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Lucy Letby trial: diary notes show private anguish, court told

Notes contain phrases: ‘I killed them. I don’t know if I killed them. Maybe I did’. Defence counsel said documents expressed nurse’s despair at what was being said of her
Court sketch of nurse Lucy Letby, who denies multiple murder and attempted murder charges

Notes contain phrases: ‘I killed them. I don’t know if I killed them. Maybe I did’. Defence counsel said documents expressed nurse’s despair at what was being said of her

Court sketch of nurse Lucy Letby, who denies multiple murder and attempted murder charges
Lucy Letby, who denies all charges against her, during an earlier court appearance Picture: Alamy

A nurse accused of multiple counts of murder and attempted murder of babies in her care wrote notes in a diary on the dates of the alleged attacks, a court heard.

Jurors at Manchester Crown Court were shown photographs of nurse Lucy Letby’s bedroom and diary where she is alleged to have recorded some of the dates.

Prosecution links diary entries to dates connected to alleged victims

Philip Astbury, prosecuting, said police recovered three handwritten notes from a handbag. The closely written notes filled the pages and included the terms ‘help me’, ‘I can’t do this any more’ and ‘how can life be this way.’

The court heard police found a 2016 diary in a chest of drawers following Ms Letby’s arrest in July 2018, two years after she worked her last shift at the Countess of Chester Hospital’s neonatal unit. A reference to ‘twin’ was recorded for 8 April, the date of birth of twin boys Ms Letby is alleged to have attempted to murder. On 9 April, a note stating ‘twin resus’ was made, the court was told.

Further entries under 23, 24, and 25 June included initial letters that the prosecution alleges related to three other babies, including two triplet boys whom Ms Letby allegedly attacked on those dates.

Mr Astbury said a Post-it note, shown to jurors at the start of Ms Letby’s trial, was found inside the diary. Part of the note reads: ‘I don’t deserve to live. I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough to care for them’, ‘I am a horrible evil person’, and in capital letters ‘I am evil I did this’.

A sticky note found among Lucy Letby’s possessions

A further page of notes included sentences: ‘I killed them. I don’t know if I killed them. Maybe I did. Maybe this is down to me.’ The words ‘kill me’ written in bold and circled could also be seen.

Other words on the A4 paper were ‘foreign objects’, ‘slander’, ‘tired’, ‘crime number’, ‘diagnosis compromised’, ‘risk factors’ and, repeatedly, ‘help me’.

Ms Letby wept in the dock as the images were shown to jurors on Monday.

Nurse wrote the words ‘in fear and despair’

In his opening speech, her defence counsel Ben Myers KC, told jurors the sticky note was the ‘anguished outpouring of a young woman’.

He added Ms Letby was at the time ‘in fear and despair when she realises the enormity of what’s being said about her, in the moment, to herself’.

A total of 257 handover sheets were recovered during police searches, of which 21 included the names of babies Ms Letby is alleged to have harmed.

Lucy Letby denies murdering seven babies and attempting to murder ten others between June 2015 and June 2016. The trial continues.


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